Archive for the ‘Relationship Peace of Mind’ Category

The Responsibility to Change

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

In this series of posts, I’m writing about obvious changes taking place in our society. These changes may be depressing to some readers. However, I believe these changes provide the greatest opportunity of modern civilization.

Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich says that “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.”

I agree completely. I’ve built my life on the thought that every time I see failure, it is a clue to search for the opportunity within it. I can always find it.

Now is the time for our society to find the opportunity within the challenge we face. The first step requires each person to take 100% responsibility for the results in his life.

We can no longer afford to blame other people or other situations for our challenges. These challenges come to us at this time in history because we are ready for them.

With this responsibility fully in hand, the next step is to ponder on the question “How can I?”

Our family doesn’t have many rules about behavior and speech. We make agreements and live within them. However, we have one hard and fast rule about language. We don’t allow the use of the word “can’t.” We may say, “won’t.”  However, “can’t” isn’t allowed.

We believe that any person can do anything by answering the question “How can I?”

For example, in January 2009, our family was 8 weeks behind with some of our bills and we were carrying over a million dollars in debt.

We had a family meeting to discuss the situation and make a plan. Were we going to sell our dream house or take massive action to make significant money?

We made a decision to take massive action. We said “How can we (I) make significant money?” We put together a marketing plan. We cut out the things that didn’t make money. We decided to work only in areas that produce significant revenue. Five months after we made that decision, we were no longer 8 weeks behind on our bills. We were 2 weeks ahead of schedule.

At that point, we once again asked “How can we (I) improve this system?” We made other decisions, we decided to expand one business and close another. We gained clarity on what we were doing. We easily saw what was working and what wasn’t working.

In other words, we CHANGED what we were doing! That may seem remarkable. It is not. Change is the necessity of life. Our five senses work off the principle of change. Your eyes naturally follow motion. Your nose automatically picks up new scents and forgets old ones.

If you eat the same food every day, it becomes tasteless. If you see the same thing every day, you quit noticing it. If you hear the same thing over and over, you quit hearing it.

Change is how we live. It is how we thrive.

I’ll tell you more in my next post.

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The Catalyst for Change

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

In my last post, I suggested a solution for the current issues facing our society. Today, I continue those thoughts.

Solutions to any problem require change. If we keep doing what we’re doing, we’ll keep experience what we’re experiencing. There are changes needed for our current situation.

These changes include the idea that current government and religious structures are no longer necessary. These institutions no longer serve our society. They no longer work. In fact, they never worked as intended and they are now broken beyond repair.

For example, the policy of United States Federal Government produces an environment that rewards inefficiency and curtails personal initiative. In January 2010, USA Today reported that 12% of the American population (37 million out of 310 million) receive government financial assistance in the form of welfare or food stamps. Government websites report that another 2 million Americans work for the Federal Government and that does NOT include the 2.4 million serving in the military, or the 8 million working for the United States Post Office.

According to the US Census Bureau, another 19 million work for state and local government.

That means at least 68.4 million people or 22% of the population is dependent upon the government for financial provision. I say “at least” because my numbers do not include Social Security recipients and retired government and military employees.

In addition, many religious and tax-exempt entities receive direct or indirect support from government grants. These fund ministries, charities, and universities and provide jobs for several million people.

It doesn’t take much to realize that most of these jobs are not income producing jobs. Therefore, they are inefficient. They create an atmosphere of entitlement without responsibility for results.

The only way to continue funding these jobs is to increase taxes. As taxes are increased, the greatest income producers figure out ways to avoid the taxes. If the taxes are not collected, the jobs are not fundable and the government runs out of cash.

This causes governments to take radical steps like reducing all employees to minimum wages like California may do or quit paying bills altogether like Illinois.

My aim in providing this information isn’t to cause a panic. It is to observe what is happening in our world, anticipate what may happen in the near future, and provide a plan that brings Peace of Mind.

As I said in my last post, in his book, The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell tells us there are levels at which the momentum for societal change becomes unstoppable. His studies show that it only takes about 10% of the population to teach the “tipping point.”

My observation is that we have surpassed that level for change within our current society. All we need now are catalysts to cause this change. I believe the difficulties facing government and religion are these catalysts.

It is not too far a leap to believe that this change may be what is built into the Mayan calendars and Biblical prophecies that point to 2012 as a key time for change, especially within government and religious institutions.

Since this time is just around the corner, I believe the message I have is vital for each of us to survive through this anticipated change. In fact, I believe we can do more than survive. We can thrive.

I’ll tell you the first step in my next post.

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Imagine a Workable Solution

Monday, July 5th, 2010

In previous posts, I described some of the problems facing American federal, state, and local governments including a shortage of cash and the conflict over how to enforce the United States border. These problems are not unique. They are not limited to the United States. Careful observation shows that most governments have financial and enforcement problems.

As promised, in today’s post, I provide a radical, relevant, and real solution.

Downsize all government agencies with the goal of eliminating most of them. This solution includes greatly reducing taxes. It includes privatizing government and religious services, allowing the market place to regulate itself.

I admit this is not an original idea.

One country has operated this way for more than 60. Costa Rica abolished its military in 1949. Today, the county thrives by using funds previously allocated for military spending for humanitarian purposes.

Former Beatle, John Lennon, wrote and sang about the idea in his hit “Imagine”. Lennon recognized the basic truth that religions and government categorize people. This magnifies our differences so that we don’t recognize the concept of unity.

Since religion and government do the categorization that lead to disunity, Lennon reasoned that if we remove them, we take a step closer to unity.

If I’m not categorized as American, Mexican, Christian, Arab, Jewish, Moslem, Black, or White, I have fewer reasons to disagree with other people and I can more easily remember that we are all one.

This reasoning is consistent with the teachings of great thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages. The message of unity permeates the teachings of Jesus, Buddha, and native tribes. The Butterfly Effect demonstrates our interconnectedness by showing the impact one little change by one little insect has on the entire world.

Each person I have talked to about this subject innately understands the truth of unity.

My observations tell me we are on the threshold of a major societal change.

Consider the popularity and staying power of Mr. Lennon’s song. Originally released in 1971, “Imagine” continues to receive awards and attention. In 1999, BMI named it one of the top 100 most-performed songs of the 20th century. In 2004, it ranked #3 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. In January 2005, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation named “Imagine” the greatest song in the past 100 years as voted by listeners.

Former US President Jimmy Carter said, “In many countries around the world—my wife and I have visited about 125 countries—you hear John Lennon’s song ‘Imagine’ used almost equally with national anthems.”

Obviously, the song’s message resonates with a significant part of the world population.

Malcolm Gladwell , in his book, The Tipping Point, tells us there are levels at which the momentum for societal change becomes unstoppable. Surprisingly, this number is smaller than we might anticipate. His studies show that it only takes about 10% of the population to teach the “tipping point.”

My observation is that we have surpassed that level for change within our current society. All we need now are catalysts to cause this change. I believe the difficulties facing government and religion are these catalysts.

I’ll continue these thoughts in my next post.

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Background on the New Arizona Law

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

The decision by the Arizona State Government to pass the Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act has created a whirlwind of controversy. The decision came because the Arizona State Government believes the United States Federal Government is not keeping its agreement to protect the country’s border.

The new law requires state and local law enforcement officials to enforce federal laws to the fullest degree possible. In addition, it makes it a state crime not to have alien-registration documentation or some other form of identification that proves an individual is in the State legally. It also gives local law enforcement the power to arrest those individuals without a warrant.

At first glance, this may seem reasonable. However, consider this. Under the new law, any law enforcement officer may arrest any person suspected of not being in the state legally who does not have an identification document. In other words, the law makes it possible for someone to be locked up for not carrying some form of identification at all times.

This law has obvious constitutional issues. It violates the constitutional right to privacy and allows for unreasonable seizure. Supporters say that “illegal aliens” have no constitutional rights. Legal scholars disagree. There are constitutional rights of “personhood” that have nothing to do with an individual’s citizenship status.

I don’t typically attempt to resolve legal issues in my writing so I won’t do so here. Besides, this issue really isn’t a legal one (more about that later). Of course, the courts will spend plenty of time on it. According to US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, the federal government plans to sue Arizona. This case will probably be a “States’ Rights versus Federal Authority” issue. Hamilton and Jefferson debated it during the founding of our country. The North and South killed hundreds of thousands in an attempt to settle the dispute during the Civil War. It is part of the Federal Healthcare issue and it is the heart of the illegal alien issue too. The courts will do their upmost to justify their existence and attempt to solve the issue.

No matter what the military, police, courts, legislators, and tax authorities do, it won’t be good enough. The issue will persist.

My reason for saying this is simple. Government enforcement agencies including the military, police, courts, legislators, and tax authorities see society in a certain manner.

Their perspective prevents these issues from ever being resolved. I see a possible resolution. It is radical. It is relevant. It is real.

I’ll write about it in my next post.

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Arizona, 2012, and Legal Gangs

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

I’ve got to admit that it thrills my heart when I hear about government having trouble paying their bills.

This has nothing to do with a sadistic desire to see other people fail. I genuinely believe that this is a “sign of the times.” It is a sign that our world is moving towards a time when government as we know it, especially as an enforcing agency, will not be necessary.

Call it utopian, call it unrealistic, call it whatever you want to call it. However, before you completely dismiss the idea, consider this.

Almost every religious system that I’m familiar with points to 2012 as a significant time in our world’s history. Some claim it is the end of the world and there will be great destruction. Others claim it is the end of the age and there will be a great transition.

I suspect there will be a combination of events that don’t quite fit anyone’s scripted ideas. I think part of those events will include a transition of government responsibilities, especially in America and probably around the world.

In my opinion, the current American government situation is dire on every level from local to state to federal, especially when it comes to enforcing laws.

So-called justice agencies, including the military, police, courts, legislators, and tax authorities often do more harm and create more chaos than civilians do. In many cases, the things they seek to protect us from are the very things they perpetuate.

One attorney recently told me that the largest gang in every city is the city’s police force. When I asked for clarification, here is what the attorney asked me.

“What else would you call an armed group of young people who cruise the city, looking for opportunity to throw their weight around, backed by funds confiscated under threat of punishment?”

That question rings through my head every time I hear of a government agency initiating an enforcement action. The latest ringing happens when I hear about the controversy over Arizona’s illegal alien situation. 

If you’re unfamiliar with the situation, I’ll bring you up to speed. The southwestern border of United States between El Paso and San Diego is sparsely populated. The almost 800 miles of border is a desert area of sand, sagebrush, and cactus. Therefore, border enforcement is difficult at best, impossible at worst.

The United States Border Patrol is not enforcing the Arizona part of this border in a way that satisfies the Arizona government so the State of Arizona did something about it. It passed a law so it could protect the Arizona border with Mexico.

In my next few posts, I’ll write about the obvious constitutional problems with this law, I’ll explore the 2012 changes mentioned above, and I’ll provide a proposed solution to all of this that may surprise you.

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The Rewards of Maintaining Relationships

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I’m sometimes asked how our large and growing family maintains relationships. It is easy to do, when we make it a priority, and it is far easier that the drama that comes when we do not maintain those relationships.

More than just avoiding drama, the efforts always produce wonderful rewards.

Here is a short list of how we do this and some of the rewards:

We meet six mornings a week to say affirmations, read inspirational material, and review the day.

We connect to each other on Facebook and subscribe to status updates via cell phone.

We celebrate birthdays and special occasions.

We spend Sundays playing sports and games while hanging out together.

The Facebook method is especially effective and it often holds special surprises for us. For example, when Peter went from long ponytail to shaved head, he “did the deed” late on a Friday night and posted the picture on Facebook. When I got up early Saturday morning, I first saw his new look there.

Mary often posts pictures of Isaiah, our grandson, on Facebook. Even though I see him every day, those pictures capture him in special moments I wouldn’t otherwise experience.

And sometimes, I’m completely blown away by someone demonstrating a talent I didn’t know they had.

Emmanuel recently posted this poem.

Today a bud tomorrow a blossom,
enjoy the beauty for a season
petals fall down
to cry there is no reason
around the bend yet another blossom

A few days later, Paul wrote a beautiful note about his weekend experience at Bosque del Apache.

Maintaining relationships is a joy with unexpected and beautiful surprises. What can you do today to maintain the relationships in your life?

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A Great NEW YEAR

Monday, January 11th, 2010

Sometimes, new opportunities come into my life and happen so quickly that I’m left breathless.

New Year’s Eve was that way this year.

We received the official paperwork from the State of New Mexico announcing that Sheri and I are no longer accused felons.

A friend moved into our house.

We spent the evening standing in the snow around a bonfire with friends enjoying the blue moon in the crystal New Mexico sky.

I must have known it was going to be a special day. Here is what I wrote in my journal that morning.

Fluffy snow decorates my world and ushers in a new decade, fresh with new ideas, new beginnings, and abundant blessings! Happy New Year everyone!!

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Exclusive Love

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Recently, a friend asked me when I last posted to my blog.

I couldn’t remember so I knew it had been too long.

I took the time to look this morning and saw I haven’t posted in almost two months.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. I just haven’t been writing blog posts.

So, starting today, I’ll write on my blog again. The posts will be shorter with just enough info to keep you updated on what’s going on in and around our world of Living the Southwest Lifestyle.

If I’m your friend on Facebook, you saw this as my status today. “One love does not have to exclude another love.”

I friend shared that bit of wisdom at a UUPA meeting I attended last evening. I invite you to consider it as you live your life today.

(If you want to know about UUPA, click here.)

(If you want to be my friend on Facebook, you may find me here. http://www.facebook.com/MatthewCCox)

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Things I Learned Since My Daughter Had a Baby

Thursday, November 13th, 2008

As a father of eight children, I have more parenting experience than the average person does. As a result, I figured that grand-parenting would be about the same as parenting.

Boy was I wrong!

It turns out there are many differences between being a dad and being a grandpa. Here are my observations after seven months:

Other people think I have a new name. I still don’t answer when people call me “grandpa.” It isn’t that I’m suddenly older or have lost my hearing. I just don’t recognize the name as being mine. (For the sake of clarity, I use the term grandpa in this post. However, I still won’t answer if you call me that.)

As a father, I could hold the baby after everyone left and my wife needed her sleep. As a grandpa, I seldom hold the baby. Ahead of me are mom, dad, aunts, uncles, great grandma, grandma, and any visitors. Finally, as everyone is leaving, including mom, dad, and the baby, I can hold the baby while his parents are putting on their coats.

As a father, I changed my share of diapers. As a grandpa, I don’t have to change diapers.

As a father, I wanted to make sure our baby didn’t disrupt the people around me by crying. As a grandpa, a crying baby sounds normal and healthy. In fact, there are times when I don’t even notice.

As a father, I knew about the joy of a baby. As a grandpa, I discover the joy that comes from sharing a baby with other people – especially my own children. There is nothing like watching my own kid interact with a baby.

As a father, I worried a lot. As a grandpa, I don’t worry. I have experienced enough over 21 plus years of parenting to know things always work out for the best. Besides, worrying is just wasted energy.

Have you gone through a similar transition lately? Comment and share your insights!

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A Baby is God’s Sign That the World Should Go On

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

As of Sunday, November 9, 2008, I am an uncle – for the 14th time! Congratulations to my wife’s sister, Sandi and her husband, Roy on the birth of their 8th child!!

That reminds me of what I experienced in February, 2008…

“Daddy, we have ourselves a little boy.”

The voice on the other end of the phone sounds like my daughter but I have never heard that tone in her voice before.

I know she has just finished over 40 hours of labor. I know that what started as a home birth had moved to the hospital to complete the delivery. I know she must be exhausted.

However, her voice is cheerful and full and… different.

My wife and I have eight children. I was present at each birth. From the twins’ births in a North Carolina hospital to our last four births in our living room, I experienced the emotion and joy anew each time.

I know the experience of seeing a new baby come into the world. I thought I was prepared emotionally for becoming a Grandpa. I discover I am not.

I try to speak. I cannot. I only cry.

My little girl, my daughter is now a mother. I can hear the sound of a mother’s love in her voice. It is the most beautiful sound in the world.

Now that I have now been a grandpa almost nine months, I have learned a few things from becoming a grandpa. I’ll write about those in my next post.

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